This one is for the nephew

Psssst! I'll tell you a secret! 

You're allowed to have bad days/nights, hell weeks, months, years! But you can find joy even in bleakness, light in dark. It's the moments of joy in the worst times that get you through. I think that is why I have funeral giggles, because humor, laughter, shows me moments of light to contrast how bad things can get.
I say humor is my defense mechanism, but it is an offense mechanism as well.
I'm in a lot of pain today, but I keep thinking about my nephew, Jason Johnson, now a brilliant journalist and married to a wonderful girl - it's his birthday today, born 11/11/88 so it's easy to remember. I was living in Ozark with my 2nd husband at the time, and I told my sister, Juli Parrish, the night before to watch The Cosby Show because Sandra was supposed to have her twins on that episode and I knew that 1 woman, even acting, in labor triggers another.
It's true, look it up, I'll wait. 

It took you long enough, sheesh.
Anyway, we got the call mid-morning - they waited until it was last minute to call and we set a land speed record from our townhouse in Ozark AL to what was then Edge Memorial Hospital in Troy AL, rushed to 2nd floor maternity just as my late brother Loren came out of those famed double doors to announce, "IT'S A BOY AND HE IS PISSED!"

And that is how I get through the dark.

Blog Blast for PEACE

"All we are saying is give peace a chance"

I've tried to stay out of this shit, and wish 45 would! But.

Okay, look, here's the thing:
I know the "flag conduct" rules thingamajigger (my second husband was in the Army, as was my dad; I know this shit) says, "should stand facing the flag," during the National Anthem, which only became the National Anthem the same year William Shatner was born, to put that shit into perspective for some of y'all, ALL HAIL THE SHAT!
But, I haven't stood for flag nor anthem since '98 when I first had titanium rods implanted into my upper left femur for reasons which shall remain stupid (bowling accident, no, I don't want to talk about it - truth!) and not one person has EVER questioned me about it. EVER. Because of the hue of my skin (Mediterranean/Caucasion), and I know this for a fact.
So if I don't rise but kneel in spite of pain, not to disrespect flag nor anthem, then you know this is ME, kneeling but fighting against injustice. And THAT is real talk. 

I'm

There's this thing. A good friend adopted a kitten. Before said kitten was very old, she had to take him to her dr stabby, turned out kitteh had a congenital heart malfunction and rather than deal with it. She had him euthanized.
I kinda want to say, "You fucking bitch!" because if I had been put to sleep for having the exact same disorder... but I didn't say anything. And now this person's replacement cat has a problem... Maybe the problem is actually that an adoption, human/feline/canine isn't actually meant to be perfect or to make you appear to be perfect, that poor damn child my adoptive parents tried..  yeah, okay, I may be projecting. I don't care.
Don't give away or give up on your family, adopted, furry, human, decided, or any which way  Just don't or you'll end up at 7 a m on a Saturday trying to decide when it's appropriate to pimp slap someone for presuming it's okay to kill a cat for having the exact same thing.

Rock on

I want to get this on record before the first drop of rain hits the continental US from Hurricane Irma:

Somebody will have all their possesions blown away or demolished, and will be on tv saying, "We didn't think it would be this bad, it just kinda snuck up on us."
No it didn't.
On the list of things that cannot sneak up on you, somewhere in the top 10 is hurricanes.
My ex used to try that, when he would totally blow off my birthday, Christmas, our anniversary..."It snuck up on me babydoll, I'll get it right next year."
No, it didn't. They are fixed dates on the calendar you scum- right, back to hurricanes.
They can not sneak up on you. Even if you are a hermit in a cave with no contact at all with the outside world, at some point you are going to notice it is getting a bit weathery out, and at some point you will decide to either secure your favorite boulder and your pet rock, or ease on down the road to where it isn't as weathery.
If you don't, you'll be on CNN saying, "I thought my cave on the beach was safe from storm surge."

I WON!!

The reason I haven't blogged in almost a year was for a bet. Which means $1000 goes to the charity of my choice, so some of you will beneft. 
I don't even mind.
But someone bet me I couldn't shut up for a year, unless someone specifically asked why I wasnt blogging anymore.
Tada!!
The person who bet me owes $1k to Booby research.


So now that I'm unleashed...
MWAHAHAH 
FEAR ME!
Because I'm about to lay some truth on your asses you never even considered.
I.AM. UNLEASHED.

Congratulations, It's a Divorce!!

No, not mine. Yet. A couple I've known on fb since before they were a couple, met, married, and now barely a few years later have announced they are divorcing and she is moving back to where she was before they married. 
Hint: foreign country to the North
So, yeah, they went through a metric ton of paperwork, and bullshit to be together. And now it's ending, and I'm actually sad for them, regardless of how much I loathe the concept of marriage. I do not believe a piece of paper from any agency be it religious or government makes anyone's union more or less valid, and all it does it fuck things up if it doesn't work. But enough about the way things should be.
Thing is, nobody knew they were having trouble. I mean nobody. They told no one of thousands of friends and relatives. I applaud the hell out of that. It is really difficult to ignore the temptation to blurt out your mess to hopefully sympathetic and supportive friends. I should know. Immediately when I began having problems I shut the hell up publicly about anything to do with it. I see all these people getting fired, or having fb used as a damn witness in court, and realized I don't need that kind of hassle in addition to everything else in my life.
I do not mention my realtionship, lack or presence of, nor do I mention anything which could get me or anyone else arrested. Any illegalities are all from expired statutes of limitation or I've served the time, paid the fine, sentence discharged, thank you very much.
They said nothing. That is smart, and it is classy, because they also did not put the burden of a failing marriage on friends. Hell, when they announced it yesterday, they didn't even put the burden on each other! They each claimed/accepted blame for their own parts in it all 
Classy.
Not like most people.

The other side of the coin is those couples who let it all out, and I mean things no one else should ever know. I'm sitting there with popcorn watching my newsfeed, clicking refresh every few minutes because of my shitty connection, screaming, "WHAT HAPPENED THEN??? WHAT DID THE NEIGHBOR'S HUSBAND SAY WHEN HE FOUND ALL 3 OF YOU IN BED??? DAMN MY NET!!"

Then, there's the other couple. Married 35 years, planning an anniversary outing, and they warm the single tiny almost dead cockle of my shriveled black heart. Their love and respect for each other shines. I love these people, and what they have found with and in each other. I do not doubt a single iota for them it is truly, "Til death do us part," and it's, "As Simple As That."

But for me, it's just another excuse to eat cake. Yes, divorce cakes are huge now. Although I did not get cake for my birthday, this past Monday. Nobody thought I might want a birthday cake, much less the right cake. So shortly before midnight, I broke down and stuck a candle in a pumpkin spice minimuffin, and made my wish.

I need this one to come true.

***On the next post: a unique gift I received and hopefully a few words with its creator!**