Cake and inappropriate hairs

Cake. Cake cake cake cake tasty tasty cake.
I heard this woman holding forth about "inappropriate cake." That's what she called it. She was referring to "obscene" images and "filthy writing" in frosting.
Well, was is tasty? If so, eat it! Problem solved. You're welcome.
What the hell is an "inappropriate cake" anyway? When is cake not appropriate?
I don't care if it's shaped like a set of testicles, and says, "I HOPE YOU DIE OF ASS ROT/HAPPY RETIREMENT FROM THE WHOREHOUSE"," if it's cake and tasty, I'm eating it. Problem solved. You're welcome.
Right this minute? Taking a bite of quadruple chocolate cake, with a tall glass of milk. Cake - it does a body good. And I did have healthy other food for dinner, so don't even start. Cake.

Hair? Oh, yes. Remember being excited about getting hair in new places when you were a naive young pubescent, then spent the next 40 years trying to remove it until you noticed it was starting to go away, and were relieved? Right. Hold on to that thought. Sometimes it comes back again.
I know.
I found a hair in an inapproriate place, and it is driving me nutso. No, worse than usual. Okay it's very frustrating, then. No, I won't say where... Amsterdam, why does it matter? Stop interrupting! Anyway, I found one where there shouldn't be any, and immediately plucked it. It came back. I plucked again, making sure to get the follicle. It came back. I depilitoried, shaved, plucked, waxed, had an exorcism, and it keeps coming back. And it's white. Not grey, not light brown, not blonde, but freaking white. I believe it has tapped into the Mother Hair Root, somewhere. Maybe I can get a grant to launch an expedition to discover the secret location of the Mother Hair Root, and destroy it. Possibly funded by Gillette.
Finding a hair in a cake would be inappropriate.