Ungifting

Mothers' Day tomorrow. Another gifting day for most. I don't really think we should require a day to make us be pleasant to the person who gave us life but since this kind of thing seems to approved I won't buck the tide on it. Have more of them, though. 1 a week would be nifty. I don't like the gift part.
I have reason.
I married a man who was easily in the top 5 most self-centered creatures in this universe. His reign may have extended further, but since I have yet to travel beyond, I can't be sure, and I strive for accuracy. He was selfish, also, and petulant, mean, cruel, unfaithful, psychotic, delusional... but let's not go on about his good points. He was self-centered to the point that if he bothered getting me a gift for any occasion (during rare periods of work & if he hadn't spent every cent on meth yet), it was always some horrible tacky thing that I wouldn't have on a bet, didn't fit, didn't work, etc. that he wanted me to have. Not a single thing in all those years I actually wanted or needed or could use.
I won't even get into the whole birthday thing (what the hell is so hard about 9" & 3 layer round white cake, white frosting, pale pink roses from an actual bakery not the WalMart deli??? It's not like the damn date shifts, it's the same every year so no it did not "sneak up on you" you gacked fool!) .. okay I got a little into it, backing out now. Mothers' Day.
All I ever wanted for any day, socially mandated or not, was 1 day every now and then when he wasn't a total jackass to me, screamed at the kids & me, whined, got so high he lost things and blamed everything on me when I didn't have the vacant smile of the locals.
I was left bitter.
So I'd like to un-gift that bitterness.  I don't want to carry around this loathing for holidays. I don't want anyone to have the power to make me this angry at a day. Because I am.