I was listening to the radio this morning, because I haven't learned my lesson, and only half listened to the morning patter until 2 words registered as part of the same sentence - Solstice and million. I dropped what I was holding and ran... yeah, I was holding Brat and helping him through another coughing fit. I didn't drop him but I did begin to pay attention. What I heard was not part of some clever sketch. Iceland is apparently holding a Secret Solstice Festival cum concert and the price is $1,000,000 USD. Per ticket which allows 6 people.
I had to do some research on this. It's true. According to one site:
Here’s some of what this one-of-a-kind luxe festival ticket includes:
- Private chartered business jet (Gulfstream G300 or similar) return to Iceland from any destination on Earth for six people
- 24/7 access to two luxury cars, personal drivers, and private security for the entire week in Iceland
- Luxury 6-room villa for 7 nights in the center of Reykjavík over the Secret Solstice 2016 festival week
- Exclusive admittance to Secret Solstice 2016 for six people, including chaperoned access to off-limits areas of the festival site where possible
- Access to the sold out Secret Solstice presents Inside The Volcano event, the world’s first concert inside a volcano over the Secret Solstice 2016 weekend, including helicopter transfers from Reykjavík
A mil, you say? Dang, left it in my other pants. In a previous incarnation
A mil for what boils down to a concert I don't care about and a hotel room with sheets that will smell funny to me, to have a close up view of something that is in my essence anyway? Pass. For a mil Johnny Depp, Sam Elliot, Angelina Jolie, Baryshnikov & Tim Conway (my quirk, ignore it) better be waiting naked with a vat of absinthe.
But I have a theory.
Here's what I think happened:
A bunch of Canadians were sitting around a frozen something, trying to think of a way to get back at Americans for being, erm, very American, let's say. 1 of the Canucks (Canuks? Is that even allowed? I'm never sure when it's racist to refer to one's nationality by saying their, uhm, nationality) says, "I got an idea, eh? We have all this ice and cold here, we're pretty far north, and most Americans are scarily ethnocentric, yet seem to have a lot of things we want. We need to take over their place, and here's how....festival. Solstice is coming up, we say we're somewhere else, like, I dunno, Iceland. Who's gunna know after we take their money and fly them here, open the door of the plane and there is snow everywhere, eh? We raise a mooseload of cash, use that to fund our own candidates for their Presidency, because anybody is better than what they have up this time... It could work, eh??"
I have no idea if they really say things like that. The last time I was in Canada was 1976, for the Bicentennial. Yep, my oh so patriotic family went to Canada to celebrate America's 200th. It seemed to make some sort of sense at the time. Moving on.
So he says that, or not, and between the drinking, making that great pizza topping, dodging moose, and putting mayo on everything, they hatch a cunning plan.
President Trebek and Vice President Short
2016
It's Time, America, eh?
